Sunday, May 30, 2010

buying flowers...

Having purchased a small bouquet of flowers for my good friend whose father had just passed away, I walk out of Albertson's. My exit happens to line up with that of an attractive 40-something woman in a fuzzy looking sweatsuit. She is very tan and looks like a housewife might look in a well-off suburb. Coincidentally, I am in West Linn and note that she probably is. I give her a nod as we both walk out the door. She initiates conversation as she eyes my bouquet:

Woman: So... what'd you do?
Me: Um... death in the family.
Woman: oh my god I'm so sorry!!
Me: No worries. It's not my family.
Woman: Oh good! Here I am giving you a hard time, thinking you'd done something bad...
Me: I didn't say I haven't. But that's a different story.

I walk away toward my car as she starts toward hers. She turns back and smirks. I keep walking with a big grin on my face.

Sometimes I love the suburbs.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

bored... again


In an effort to try and energize my evening, I ended up finding some new music to listen to. Some is good, some isn't, but Mumford & Sons is a definite highlight of the batch... too bad I just missed them in concert a few weeks ago. The new Foals album is so-so from a first listen, which is unfortunate considering my enthusiasm for its release. Can't win them all I suppose.

Tonight consisted of staring at music blogs and watching part of The Pick of Destiny-- this helped to quell the dullness. I didn't work out today to try and avoid further leg injury... I fear those 5-6 minute miles at the end of my runs might begin to take their toll. Tomorrow morning I'm throwing caution to the wind and hitting up the gym extreme-like. If the endorphins don't get me out of this stupor I don't know what will.

Yadda yadda.

Nothing is happening over here. I've been back from SLC for all of a week and I'm starting to get bored out of my mind.

Tomorrow's a new day to head out on a quest for laughs and adventure. Life's too short to sit and wait.

The 28th floor of my office building and a flash drive exchange are on my mind. If you know what I'm going on about, this is a call to arms.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

on boredom, falling, and a lack of sleep

Having initially, falsely, thought that I was near another moment of self-destruction, I came to my senses. Call it a revelation. I do not lack a desire to enjoy the life I lead. Nor do I want to turn this train to a set of different tracks. That isn't the problem. Instead, I feel like I have been walking on the wrong side of the aforementioned tracks.

Funny what being on the road for three weeks can do. Apparently you learn more about living and what you truly need by sitting in a hotel room by yourself, unable to sleep. My job had given me nothing new to think about, and the fact that my heart wouldn't slow down long enough to catch a sleep break was by no means due to any real life antics. I know you, the reader, might be amazed by this, but this scenario owed nothing to the thrills (particularly the lack thereof) that only Salt Lake City can provide.

The last few weeks have taught me several things. A late night talk with one of my most trusted friends taught me that no one is ever sure about exactly what they want in life. Waking up the next morning, feeling exhausted from walking around downtown post a night of random bar hopping (including a round at a divy biker bar on the east side), I came to a realization: if I can't be sure about what I want, I'm sure as hell going to enjoy every day. I was literally bored out of my mind, and I was sick of it.

I took the next day by the balls. I handed my fate into the hands of another person as I plummeted to the ground from 13000 feet in the air. I drove around suburban Portland at breakneck speeds. I went out and I truly lived. And, dammit, it felt good.

Lack of sleep or not, I think I am finally waking up.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

turn around bright eyes

Having resolved the sleeping issue by exercising to the point of total exhaustion and eating myself into a food coma, I feel energized to get something important accomplished. Unfortunately, I have run fresh out of ideas, and the smartest things that come to mind range on a wide spectrum, starting at "dimwitted" and going as far as "unfortunate".

Considering my state of mind, and the appearance of pursuits that belong smack dab in the middle of the aforementioned spectrum, I feel a storm brewing.

The computer battery is about to give up. As should I, before I write something along the lines of a Dashboard song. Goodnight.

:P

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Something about the road and intentions...


Try as I may, there are things in life that are and will forever be inevitable. I would compile a full list but I have neither the time nor the desire to bore this blog's two readers. As you are one of them, "you're welcome."

The phenomenon I allude to is the fact that there are patterns I seem to fall into on a persistent basis. Call it a self-destruct button with both an auto timer and a trip sensor, with both having been triggered this weekend. Perhaps the time had simply come for me to enter the next chapter of doubt and disillusionment. Maybe I simply can't depart from my house farther than than 200 miles without my mind starting to wander.

No matter which has occurred, be it both of the above or other recent developments, I am here, writing in this blog, because I have not been able to fall sleep as I usually do for the last two nights, which have coincided with my arrival to Salt Lake City. Instead of dozing off within minutes, I must wait hours before my consciousness begins to slip away. My thoughts are in a race that seemingly has no end- just an inevitable intermission that eclipses my night as if to get just the right amount of rest to begin the next day with a hint of melancholy.

Maybe my life just wouldn't be complete without a dash of wanting that which I cannot have. Perhaps I am simply too eager to lay what I have down on the table and roll the dice, just so that I can say that I tried.

Then again, I may just have to have that one bit of uncertainty in my life. That one spark that makes every moment worth living, if only to find out what the next entails.

And maybe I just have a chronic case of ADD for the things that matter most.

This was supposed to be another post about girls and music. Then again, in some way, every one of these posts is. Inevitable.