Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Life without my girlfriend, or "what the hell do I do now?"


As I type this, my significant other is off on a Contiki tour of Europe and, last I spoke with her, she was winding down after an evening spent at the world's largest beer (bier) garden in Munich, Germany. Naturally, I miss her in all senses of the word, but I'm getting antsy.

What to do, what to do... I've spent most of the day trying to conjure up an answer. Seems I arrived at several conclusions as to my schedule as the day went on:

1. Sit around, search digg.com for interesting news stories.
2. Drink day-old coffee quickly.
3. Proceed to study for the CPA exam intently thanks to a caffeine-induced interest in success.
4. Explore music blogs. Reaffirm that La Roux is awesome.
5. Eat.
6. Watch random David Duchovny movie called "The Secret", which was apparently published abroad. Appreciate it for what it was: semi-decent.
7. Fix fixed gear, go on 17 mile ride, forgetting that Portland is all hills. Almost die trying.
8. Sit around, search digg.com for interesting news stories.

In other words, I've managed to bore myself by hanging out with only myself. I'm still partied out from celebrating graduation continuously for the past two weeks and am trying to get in better shape for the GF when she comes back. Alone time is good, but it's better if your best friend is right there with you by your side.

She comes home in about two weeks and I can't wait. Meanwhile, I'll just keep reading Pride & Prejudice & Zombies.

P.S. David Sedaris on audiobook is the best thing to happen to bike rides since padded gloves. Love his stuff. Listening to "Me Talk Pretty One Day" currently, switching to "When You Are Engulfed In Flames" as soon as I'm done.

Monday, June 22, 2009

CPA Review, Day 1: No Music?!


Having spent about 4 hours on the first section (of nine) of the first of four tests required to become a Certified Public Accountant, my brain is beginning to bounce around from place to place. Perhaps the hardest thing about buckling down and studying is the fact that I can't have music playing in the background-- all the lectures require the man with the New York accent, who mentions Puff Daddy in passing between pages, to go over the key points of every page of my god-knows-how-many-pages-long Financial Review textbook.

This means no Vampire Weekend, no Discovery, no Animal Collective, no Moby, no Presets, no ANYTHING. I haven't studied for anything without an upbeat tune making its way through my eardrums since I first bought a CD player in 7th grade. This feels unnatural and wrong.

I can't even have Copeland...

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Music: Blessing or Downfall?

I will start this post off by saying that I don't know if anyone else experiences their music the way I do. I have always had a soundtrack to my life-- I remember specific points in my past by cross-referencing what I was listening to at the time. If I was listening to Ozma and Weezer's Pinkerton, I was getting over my first girlfriend. If I was listening to Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, I was hanging out with the girl in my second post's boyfriend many summers ago. If I was listening to Copeland, I was desperately in love with that same girl, who would break my heart more than I ever thought possible.

So tonight, I sat down and remembered listening to Copeland, and put on their last two albums on iTunes. The emotions came flooding back. I really have no idea how to quantify the level of infatuation and devastation that began to envelope me once again, despite this occurring over 6 months ago.

I kept telling myself: you are past that point in your life. You have a girlfriend that you love, who loves you in turn. This past was a dark place.

And yet here I am reminiscing. At least now I know that if anyone's out to get me, it's really me.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Glau: A Dream.


Last night, I had my first dream about the most beautiful woman on television. The one, the only: Summer Glau. And what a dream it was, leaving me confused about what was going on and where I was when I woke up...

Before I continue, I should say that despite my own earnest best effort and will for the dream to take a sexy turn, it never did. Apparently dream "me" acknowledges the whole "I'm in a relationship" thing as much as I do, and I have yet to write out a laminated list of celebrities and have it be approved by my significant other. What is this "laminated list," you might ask? Educate yourself here:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Laminated%20List

The dream:
There I was, graduated from college, and apparently decided to live in some sort of high-class apartment building on the University of Oregon campus. My roommates consisted of my best friends from high school, and were, apparently, set on causing as much trouble as possible. First, we pranked a friend's car with random newspaper clippings, only to then have the friend call the police on us. This was the beginning.

Our debauchery did not end there. We decided to follow up with a prank phone call, claiming to be collections from a pornographic magazine, much to the dismay of the girl on the other end of the line. Halfway through the conversation, a man picked up the phone, asking our number, at which point we hung up, laughing hysterically. Unfortunately, we apparently forgot to block our phone number, so we received a call from Deloitte & Touche-- the company where I am set to start work in September, saying that I had breached my contract by bothering the Portland office's managing partner with a prank call. I was to report to the nearest office for discipline.

When I got there, I was given a memo, which directed me to a park, where I was to meet a woman from corporate. I arrived at the park, which was full of people engaging in some sort of large-scale celebration, and was approached by the woman: Miss Summer Glau, who was lovely as ever, but wearing a funny sort of hipster beanie.

From then, the topic of conversation changed several times, an somehow we ended up preparing for a sleepover. Upon initiating preparations for such an event, and remembering that I have a girlfriend, I considred backing out but decided that nothing would happen and that this would simply be an opportunity to hang out with my biggest celebrity crush. We went to get dinner and things ended up proceeding in a "lets

Well this predicament came with a spin: apparently she knew that I had harbored this crush and was seeking me out-- not as a member of Deloitte, but by her own means. However, finding out that I am not single led to her disappearing, which, in turn, led to me chasing after her down seemingly endless stairs, at which point I was awoken briefly. Despite panic about the situation and confusion about Deloitte and whether I have a job, I drifted back into the dream but realized that I must have dreamed the prank calling and consequences. At this point, I just kept running, trying to find her, and only catching glimpses here and there, as she disappeared.

At this point, I woke up, feeling all sorts of confused about what had just happened and unsure if any of that was real. I was relieved to still have a job, but I'm guessing I'll never actually get to meet Miss Glau.

Ah, life. I'm so glad to have dreams almost nightly to help take out some of the monotony.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Dreaming in the morning...

I keep having the weirdest dreams and not remembering them halfway through the day... Hate it when that happens. From here on out, I will be posting my dreams on here, mostly for my own amusement.

On a separate note, I've found myself frowning on bicyclists who ride around with gears, especially when they put those gears to use in going 5 mph along a bike lane. Seems like those gears were put on for efficiency, no? Then what is the point of spinning your pedals at an incredible rate, whilst your bike teeters on the brink of tipping over entirely? I don't get people... As for me, I'll stick to passing cars in 25 mph zones on my fixed gear.

One day and five hours left until my last final examination ever-- couldn't be more fitting that the class is Advanced Accounting, and that the exam is cumulative. Nothing like trying to recall 3 months worth of lecture, when I had spent the lectures dozing off and/or daydreaming. Time to print off those notes!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Final Finals: The End of An Era


As a graduating senior here at the University of Oregon, it's become a bit difficult to focus on the things that will get me the heck out of here... Four days until I am done with college forever, and yet, instead of buckling down and studying for my comprehensive accounting final, I've spent the last three days and nights pursuing what can only be described as extracurriculars. The train of thought follows:

1. Finish my final Chinese Essay?
Nope: Facebook and follow E3 on IGN for 4 hours. Follow up with 9-10 Total Domination IPAs a la keg 2 miles from my house. Go to 80's night, drink strongest gin and tonic of my life, make bad decisions.

2. Work on Business Administration take-home final?
Nope: play Call of Duty 4 campaign mode for 3 hours. Follow up with 10 PBR Lights, speak Russian for three hours to a girl who is engaged to a Russian guy living in France.

3. Begin re-learning how to make closing entries for my Accounting Final?
Nope: go on a 30 mile bike ride, break bike chain, go to local bike shop, hang out, bike out to barbecue, drink 8 more PBR Lights.

4. Taking a day off? Don't mind if I do!

5. Laundry! And my carpet could use vacuuming... looks like it's cleaning day. Break open the gin and vermouth.

6. Debate whether to pick up that accounting book. Pick up fifth of whisky instead.

7. Review the Temporal Method? Decide against it, look at online music blogs, make mix tapes for God knows who.

8. Study? Only if that Star Trek viewing party falls through!

9. Actually study. I'll believe it when it happens.

Graduation in t minus 5 days. Time to celebrate.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Mind Games... Don't Mind if I Do


A simple yet effective way of reminding your past romantic pursuit that you exist:

Action: Send a seemingly errant and nonsensical text message to said individual. Keep it simple-- no more than a couple words will do. 

Example: "Park."

Result: receive confused text message in return. Reply by saying you accidentally sent it to the wrong number. If the confused message asks whether you were referring to something in your past, simply be ambiguous and use a phrase such as "maybe someday", or "you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

Three days later: she posts a comment on myspace.

Six days later: a text message exchange takes place. 

Her: "I know it probably doesnt matter to you anymore but I miss you. Quite a bit."
Me:  "And why wouldn't I care?"
Her: "I dunno I just thought you wouldn't.We kinda just stopped talking. I don't like it one bit!"
Me:  "Hmm yeah there's probably a reason for that."

He shoots, he scores. 

I then proceeded to enjoy a warm day at the beach, cursing into the wind as it swept away the tears.

Today, they were tears of victory.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Because You Know Better


Some things are easier than others. No things are easier than bar skanks. 

Night after night, I'll go out and observe the spectacle that is the guy in his early 20s making his move from his precarious position on a barstool towards the girl sitting next to him, who decided on wearing a shiny and revealing gold v-neck dress to an olde-style pub. 

The outfit should say enough. Anyone with any college drinking experience will tell you that this is the equivalent of a girl walking the streets at night, scoping out the best corners. Instead, in return for a good time, all she requests is that she does not wake up sober. 

At first glance it is the perfect scenario for a college guy: a casual hookup with no repercussions. On second thought, any guy with a brain will realize that this is a vapid pursuit, with the only bright side being mild to severe depression. If it doesn't hit immediately, give it a few months (edit: in case of douchebaggery, allow a decade of equally pointless endeavors). 

For a good time and a potential case for an antibiotics prescription, call 503-866-XXXX.